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Info Absolution (Summary - List of stories) . The Murdered Albatross << previous act | Act 4 of 4 | next act >> The Solace Of Bittersweet Memories << previous chapter |''' Chapter 34 of 39 | next chapter >> << previous scene | '''Scene 1 of 2 | next scene >> Summary * Location: *Participants: *Time: *Summary: Text Twilight Sparkle was no more alive than she had been before... but she was only a little more dead, too. One of the few comforts that could be taken among everything that had happened, as the Lich laid in her old room at the library, breathing heavily, with the pieces of her music box sitting on a table nearby. The larger pieces still held a few shards of her essence, and while the phylactery had been battered and broken, it hadn't been completely destroyed: her soul still clung tenaciously to it, and music notes every now and then weakly whispered out of the object. But it had to be replaced, and that would take time, effort, and Twilight would need to recover her strength. And right now, she didn't even have enough strength to leave the broken body she was in without risking simply... dissolving. Burning Desire was staying with her, and Celestia checked in as often as she could on the violet mare who was friend and family to her. Antares visited sometimes, too, with Scarlet Sage... but right now, Antares was having trouble coping with... anything and everything. Most of the time, he just curled up with the statue of his parents... the rest of the time, he locked himself in their room, laying on their bedding beneath the covers, playing with the star necklace around his neck, thinking of them... and of Prestige Luster. The ache he felt for Prestige made him think bitterly that everything Celestia told him was a lie. The loss of her hurt worse than any wound he'd ever suffered, compared even to the loss of his parents... but maybe it was even worse, because he knew he was going to bring his parents back. In fact, that was the only reason he was able to force himself to do anything at all: more than ever, he needed to find and save his parents. Everyone tried to comfort him: no one could do anything for him. He blamed himself for not sensing Cancer, for not saving Prestige, for a thousand other reasons. He was no hero, no leader, everything Cancer had said about him was right, and it made him sick to his stomach. He hurt, and he felt like he was going insane, and all he wanted to do was sleep or cry, but when he slept he had awful nightmares, and when he started crying he found it almost impossible to stop. Slowly, Antares forced himself to sit up: he was locked in his parents' room, wrapped in blankets, clinging to a pillow. His eyes were reddened, and his pallor was sickly: he looked unhealthy, unstable, and nearly broken. Rustproof had hurt, but Prestige hurt so much worse, and brought back the pain of Rustproof... made him look at death and see all the awful things about it, made him feel... horrific. Made him want to die just so he could be with his friends and his beloved Prestige again... He swallowed thickly, then trembled before forcing the tears away, whispering: "And Avalon, Aphrodisia, Meadow... they're all going to die, too. And it's going to hurt. Every time it's going to hurt and... why should I go through this pain again and again and again..." The young stallion clenched his eyes shut, reaching up and rubbing slowly at his throbbing skull before heading quietly towards the door, pushing it open and murmuring: "I am just a failure... I... I am just a coward, why should I pretend any different... I... I just need Mom and Dad back, and then I can hide here forever, and I'll be a foal again and they'll take care of me and it'll all go back to the way it should have been..." Antares shivered, closing his eyes and breathing harder as he paced slowly down the corridor, then looked miserably up at the ripped paintings around the den. Most of the other damage had been cleaned up by Celestia and Scarlet Sage, and Antares breathed slowly as he turned his eyes to the photographs on the wall, settling on a picture of his parents and Twilight all standing together with smiles marred by the cracked glass that covered it. "I'm so sorry I failed you..." "Antares?" called a voice, and Antares winced and turned quickly around, beginning to stride down the corridor, but Scarlet Sage hurried in through the back door and across the kitchen, saying sharply: "Antares, wait!" The young stallion halted halfway down the hall, closing his eyes before he turned slowly around, looking miserably up at his sibling. She was still a little pale herself, not in the best condition, but she had insisted on staying out here with Apple Bloom to keep an eye on him. He looked up at her with an empty gaze as she looked back down at him silently, then she sighed softly and said quietly: "It's been five days, Antares. You're going to mourn and hurt for a lot longer, I know... but it's time for you to start putting yourself together. Come on, Antares. I'll take you into town to see Mom, and you can see your friends, too. You should talk to them before... before the funeral tomorrow." "No, I... no. She's... she's not going to get better. Not with her phylactery broken, not stuck in that body." Antares whispered, looking down and closing her eyes tightly, and Scarlet Sage looked at him silently. "And I'm not going to the funeral. It hurts too much..." "If you don't go to that funeral, Antares, you'll regret it forever. It's your last chance to say goodbye to Prestige." Scarlet Sage said quietly, and Antares shook his head and gave a shout as he glared up at her defiantly, even as his eyes filled with tears. "No, I lost that chance already! She's dead and gone, and the dead don't hear us up in Valhalla, and I'll only ever get to see her again when I die myself... that is, if I don't go to Helheim for being such a stupid goddamn coward!" Antares shouted, breathing hard, and Scarlet Sage only looked at him silently before she closed her eyes as the young stallion whispered: "Goddammit, Scarlet, you have Apple Bloom still. And you've always been more Mom's kid than I ever was, adopted or not. I'm nothing like Mom and Dad wanted me to be. I'm a failure. I'm-" Scarlet Sage reached up and quietly put a hoof to Antares' lips, silencing him as she kept her head low before saying softly: "Then maybe you shouldn't go to Clockwork World after all. Just leave Mom and Dad to sleep, because I can't think of what would hurt them more or leave them more disappointed in you than seeing you acting like this." With that, the Pegasus simply turned and left, and Antares' mouth worked, the glossy-black unicorn shivering violently as he stared after his big sister as her words cut him down to his very soul. He breathed hard in and out, then dropped his head shamefully even as he silently looked up at all the pictures on the wall, all the photos of his parents... and then he trembled before shaking his head violently as he stumbled through the kitchen and outside. Scarlet Sage glanced up from where she was sitting with Apple Bloom, and Antares walked over to her... then simply hugged her, buried his face against the side of her neck, and started to sob. The Pegasus closed her eyes as she embraced him fiercely, soothing him silently as she stroked through his mane, and Apple Bloom slipped forwards to hug the young stallion tightly as well, keeping him held between the two mares, letting him feel the warmth, the love, the sympathy and sorrows of them both. Finally, when Antares managed to get himself back under control, he joined them at the little table and Apple Bloom went inside and returned with another mug. She poured him a cup of tea from the kettle on the table, and Antares smiled faintly at her before he rubbed slowly at his eyes and whispered: "I'm sorry." "It's okay, Antares. I don't... I can't imagine how hard it is for you right now." Scarlet Sage said quietly, and Antares closed his eyes, shivering once before the Pegasus glanced across at Apple Bloom, who smiled faintly and nodded slowly. "But you... you do have to keep yourself going. Not just for yourself, or Mom and Dad, but... because Prestige would want you to, wouldn't she?" Antares nodded silently, looking down and whispering: "And so would Rusty. I keep comparing Rustproof's death to Prestige, but now I realize... I should have been thinking of it the other way around. Prestige gave up her life to save us, and... I don't know and don't care how much of what Cancer said was true. I only know that no matter what happened, at the end, she.. she died to protect us, to destroy him and give us a chance to keep going. I... I need to honor that, no matter what else I might be feeling. I need to... remember her and Rusty, in good ways, not bad." "You need to go see your friends, Antares. You need their help... and they need yours." Scarlet Sage said quietly, and Antares looked up at her for a few moments before he closed his eyes and nodded slowly in understanding, the young mare smiling faintly. "Thank you." "No... thank you, Scarlet, for... for always being here. And you too, Apple Bloom, you're... you're a lot nicer to me than you have to be." Antares laughed faintly, reaching up and rubbing slowly at his face as he closed his eyes. "Okay. Okay, I'm going to wash up. And then... I'll go into town." "We'll walk you. Ain't no reason for you to go alone... I want to see Twilight myself anyway, she..." Apple Bloom smiled faintly and shook her head slowly. "She means a lot to me, and she helped me and Scarlet more than she'll ever know, I think." The young stallion nodded gratefully, looking up with a faint smile between the two before he shifted and closed his eyes, bowing his head forwards. He simply took a moment to breathe, then he reached down and picked up his mug of tea, drinking it in a few long gulps before putting it down and realizing with something like surprise it was the first thing he'd really had in days. He studied the dregs in the bottom of the cup silently, but he didn't even have to ask for Scarlet Sage to say quietly: "Mom and Dad always had the same problem taking care of themselves, yeah. And... Mom and Dad were always hard on themselves, too. Too hard... like you are." "I..." Antares stopped, then he simply smiled faintly and nodded slowly, pushing away from the table and lowering his head in thought as he headed for the door. He made his way through the house to the bathroom, but then halted, hesitated, and instead walked to the door leading into his parents' bedroom. For a few moments, he simply stood there... then he reached forwards, gently grasping the knob and slowly pulling the door shut. His hoof slipped away from the handle, rubbing quietly over the hardwood before he whispered quietly: "Mom, Dad... I... I am going to do everything in my power to make you both proud. And... and you too, Prestige, and you, Rusty, I'm gonna try and live up to what you all thought of me. I'll never be a hero, maybe... but I'll be... I'll be something. And I'll start doing that today." The young stallion nodded firmly, lowering his head forwards and trembling once before he finally smiled faintly and turned away, heading down the hall to the bathroom door. He let himself through, looking into the mirror, seeing his mottled-white reflection grinning back at him, his crimson eyes like spotlights, his- Antares stumbled backwards, breathing hard, but when he looked into the mirror again it was just him... not Cancer. For a few moments, he trembled, staring at his reflection before slowly striding forwards, and he silently reached up to touch the glass, gazing at himself quietly as he whispered: "I'm... I'm not him. I'm nothing like him..." The young stallion closed his eyes, shivering once, before he looked up again, and for a moment his eyes seemed to glow red, for a moment, he saw his fangs bared like an animal, in a cruel, vicious expression. Then it was gone, and he was only looking at his pale, sweaty features, his mane hanging around his face, his eyes bloodshot only because of tears. Not because he was turning into a monster, not because he was going to become Midnight Hour, not because he had such a depth of evil and darkness inside him... Antares studied himself, then he lowered his head forwards and whispered: "No. Like I said... I'm not going to give in. I'm going to do what Rustproof and Prestige did... I'm going to protect. I'm going to be like my parents, and if there is something evil inside me I'll... I'll bend it, and twist it, and force it to turn into something good. I don't have to be anything except who and what I want to be." He hesitated for a few moments more all the same, then shook his head and quietly turned towards the shower stall. As he adjusted the taps and then stepped into the spray of water, he wondered silently if this was what his parents had gone through... and as he lowered his head beneath the lukewarm spray, he wondered quietly how strong they must have been to survive as they had. To have made themselves stronger from the experiences they had gone through, instead of allowing those experiences to drain them. The water got hotter and hotter, until steam was rising up from his skin, the heat almost scalding him as he felt his mind emptying out. He stood for a good ten minutes or so under the hot shower, and then finally turned the taps off and watched as the liquid flowed down the drain, swaying a bit before he shook himself briskly out, lightheaded but glad for anything that distracted him from his depression and self-loathing. He dried off slowly, then frowned a bit as his eyes caught something. A strange glimmer under the sink that wasn't from any water droplets... and Antares curiously leaned down before he softened as he reached out and gently picked up Prestige's single focal earring. He held it and silently stared down at this pretty little silver and gemstone thing, that glowed quietly even now... and Antares closed his eyes as he bowed his head forwards and whispered: "I'm sorry, Prestige." He quietly lifted it with telekinesis, then turned and silently made his way out of the room, wondering how long it had been there in the dust, laying on the bathroom tiles, ignored by everypony. Unseen because he had nothing but tears in his eyes and a mind full of garbage and stupid self-pity. A little piece of Prestige, fallen and ignored because... he was so goddamn stupid sometimes. Antares made his way to his room, and he gently laid the earring down on his table beside his bed. He reached up and brushed back his wet mane, and then he closed his eyes, bowing his head forwards as he promised quietly: "I won't forget again, Prestige Luster. I love you. Thank you... for... for everything. I won't... I'll never forget you." He breathed quietly in and out, then frowned a bit as he heard a quiet click before opening his eyes... and then the young stallion swallowed thickly, staring as he saw the earring was no longer alone, but its long-lost mate was sitting beside it now on the table. And for a few moments Antares could only look at this before he closed his eyes and bowed his head forwards, trembling a little as he understood, whispering as he felt a gentle presence brush quietly against him: "Thank you." Category:Transcript Category:Story